Birdcage 2: LeBron aux Folles

Has it come to this? Do we now have to endure a live TV broadcast, 25 minutes long, to announce where a 25 year old basketball player will sign his next contract? President Obama has held two official press conferences since taking office, but Lebron can take a half hour of prime time ESPN coverage to announce that he will be moving to Miami--a town with less soul than a ten year old pair of Birkenstocks. I will not wax nostalgic about that time when players stayed with the cities who loved them out of a sense of obligation or home, as, frankly, I have never known that time. Free agency in every sport has been around for as long as I can remember, and I'm not sure what the big fucking deal is anyway. Lebron James is a businessman, not an elected official or spiritual guru. He gave Cleavland longer than you or I would have and he played well for them. Still, let's face it, no Cleavland team in any sport has won a championship for 50 years. From what I know of the town, having driven through it twice, they never will. Cleavland is like Detroit, without the charm. I understand why Lebron wants to go to Miami and play with the Dwayne and the other guy I don't know anything about. He wants to win a championship, be the best at his profession and become a billionaire--wouldn't we celebrate this under other circumstances? I would say he has a good chance at becoming the billionaire if he wins the championships and keeps his nose clean. I was in Macao on in April and the only symbol of the West I saw was one of those building size Nike posters of Lebron with the caption: "Nice". My wife was convinced that it was a typo, but I think Nike probably checked it before they put it down forty stories of a building. Good luck Lebron and stay out of the strip joints--you never know what you're going to get.